Bad Wedding Ideas: Sending A Love Letter To Your Ex On Her Wedding Day

Look, there are just some things that you should never, ever, ever do. One of them is sending a love letter to your ex on his or her wedding day.  There are some really bad wedding ideas out there, but sending a bride a last minute pronouncement of love is one of the worst of them all.  The truth is that you had your chance to make your case in the months or years leading up to the wedding day.  So why do so many people end up thinking a last minute appeal to a lost love is going to change anything?  Has that ever worked?  Unfortunately, there are many people who believe that the world revolves around them.  If an ex is getting married, that means that it is an opportunity for them to grab the spotlight.  But is such a move ever appropriate?  No!  This was especially true in one very public case recently.   Politics Daily columnist Andrew Cohen didn’t just send his ex a love letter on her wedding day, he published it in a column for the entire world to see.  So now the entire blogosphere is talking about it and that poor bride’s wedding day has been forever marred.

Perhaps you find Andrew Cohen’s letter romantic.  Read it below and judge for yourself.  The truth is that Andrew Cohen had his chances and he made his choices.  Let this be a lesson to all of us for what not to do.  You simply do not ruin a bride’s wedding day with grand pronouncements of lost love.

If you disagree, please feel free to leave a comment at the end of the article.  The following is what Andrew Cohen wrote in his column to his ex on her wedding day…. 

The great love of my life marries today and I am not the groom. I had my chance, a few years ago, but did not realize until too late how fleeting my moment with her was meant to be. Whether it was my fault or hers, and, let’s face it, it was probably mine, I will wonder always about the life I might have had with the most loving and loveable woman I have ever known. Sometimes, I finally now understand, love, even crazy love, is not enough. Sometimes, as the romance novelists know, timing is everything. But today is not a day for remorse. It is not a day for lost causes. Today is a day for celebration. The woman I once promised to keep happy is happy. She tells me she is marrying a wonderful man, with a good heart, whom she believes I would have liked had we met in different circumstances. She lives where she wants to live. She has selected her life’s path. All that is left for me to do is to wish her well and to hope that she has made the right choice; that she continues to find in him what she did not find in me. And I am sure he considers himself today the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.

The present I humbly send her today is this column; this public note, this irrevocable display of affection and support and gratitude; this worldly absolution from any guilt or sadness she felt between the time she said no to me and the time she said yes to him. No one ought to have to carry that with them into a marriage. I showered her with as much love as I could muster when we were together. I still love her and always will. So I am only too happy to offer my toast to her now, one more time, before she takes her vows.

I want to thank her, mostly, for rescuing me from hopelessness. When we met, back in the spring of 2005, I was nearly 40 and had been dating off and on for two years following an unexpected divorce. I had lost faith in relationships. I had given up on love. She arrived, unexpectedly, and showed me what was possible. She raised me up from the emotional dead. She drew out of me the poison of divorce and betrayal. Eleven years younger but already more mature than me, she was dazzling, brilliant, funny, and sweet; she both gave and taught me patience and devotion and sacrifice. No woman before or since ever made me feel as desired, needed, beloved, appreciated as she did. No one has yet made me want her more. Some men live their whole lives without this kind of love. At least I had it for one brief, shining moment.

 Read the entire article Here

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  • Kat

    Actually, the ‘letter’ was not written for or even sent to the bride, it’s an article the author wrote for his column. Who knows if it was even published the day of his ex’s wedding?

  • Sharon

    Well, just as she is entitled to move on with her life, so is he. I don’t see this so much as “marring her wedding day” as a tribute to the one he let get away. He is really thanking her and toasting her. He didn’t say anything disparaging and he certainly seems to get the fact that she has moved on and found a great guy. So sorry, but I don’t see how this would hurt me one bit. If my ex wrote and published this letter, I would be touched and may feel a little bad for him, but it wouldnt change a thing.
    I love seeing a guy wear his heart on his sleeve for a change; he recognizes something and he wrote about it. It just doesn’t strike me as ‘love note’; it’s more of a homage to his relationship.

  • sanseed

    Actually I don’t think it’s a bad idea.